
If something feels uncomfortable or painful, let them know. Throughout the experience, it is your job to pay attention to what you are feeling, and communicate this to your partner. Trust me, this is one area in which you do not want any surprises.” 3. “Communicate your fears and expectations with your partner, and make sure that you are both on the same page about things like speed, depth, etc. As with all types of sexual activity, anal sex is something that should be discussed beforehand,” says Rachel Needle, PsyD, a licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist. Communicate openly.įiguring out how to do anal sex with your partner starts with communication. To see what that feels like, tighten your butt muscles-kind of like a Kegel for the other end-and then release. To prepare for anal sex, you can also focus on specifically relaxing the muscles of your anal sphincter. If this is your first time trying anal sex, spend some time relaxing-take a hot bath, ask your partner to give you a sensual massage, heck, you can even meditate. “If you're hesitant, nervous, or not into it, no one is going to get off, and what's the point of that?” says Tristan Taormino, author of The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women.

The last thing you want to be before attempting anal penetration (or anal stimulation) is tense.

Read on for more in-depth advice on how to prepare for anal sex and make your first time safe, comfortable, and pleasurable. For a mantra to guide you through your first anal sex experience, Good Vibrations staff sexologist Carol Queen, PhD, suggests the following: “Relaxation, lubrication, communication.” The advice, below, are all essentially variations of that trio.
